Cultivating Independence at the Family "Feast"





9 January 2022



In an effort to cultivate healthy independence at the dinner table, I listened to my children’s preferences not for the kinds of food they want to eat but rather how they like to eat. Overall, they independently served themselves a balanced, sufficient meal.





My family currently resides in what I call the season of little ones: a time that is at once hectic, challenging, and remarkable. In this season, children in the three-to-eight-year range can be quite stubborn when it comes to day-to-day interactions (at least that is true for my girls). My challenge is to cultivate independence while balancing structure and safety. Some decisions are off the discussion table (yes, they must brush their teeth), but I learned that offering choice and flexibility to my children often results in a pleasurable experience for all parties involved and bolsters my girls’ sense of autonomy.


One such opportunity is at the dinner table. My family makes an effort to share dinner time meals most nights of the week, but as many parents and guardians know, food can be a contentious issue with little ones. Eating food is one of the few behaviors small children control, and refusing to eat the contents of a plate is one way they can exert power and independence.


In an effort to cultivate healthy independence at the dinner table, I listened to my children’s preferences not for the kinds of food they want to eat but rather how they like to eat. Probably referencing a video or book they had seen, the girls asked if we could have a “feast” for dinner. To them, a “feast” meant putting out the food in various dishes on the table for self-serve (rather than serving them a plate I assembled at the stove). In this fashion, my children felt empowered to pick the foods they wanted in the quantity they desired.


As the parent and chef, I owned the power to cultivate the quality of the food for said “feast.” I was happy to put out individual dishes of various foods, but I ensured the components included healthy, colorful options with a variety of textures. After a couple of different “feasts,” I observed that my children selected items I would not have thought to serve them myself. I noticed that they took small portions but then took a second helping later. Overall, they independently served themselves a balanced, sufficient meal.


I do not recommend feasting every night; the amount of dishes is not conducive to a busy family’s schedule. However, on the nights you choose to lay out a spread, I find that salads are the easiest option. Lettuces, proteins, cheeses, olives, seeds, veggies and fruit are just a few options that can easily be placed in small bowls for assembly. Taco bars, charcuterie, burger building, and even pasta or breakfast can be served this way, too.


My favorite “feast” is a Nicoise-style salad with lots of options to customize for your family’s preferences and food specifications. Swap out proteins, veggies, and dressing to include your favorites. As a bonus, many components of this meal can be made ahead of time and refrigerated. Or, incorporate leftovers!




tuna nicoise salad



Serves 4, plus leftovers





Dressing

½ cup extra-virgin olive oil

2 Tbsp. lemon juice or red wine vinegar

1 Tbsp. Dijon mustard

1 tsp. honey

Salt and pepper to taste


Salad

4 large eggs, boiled and halved

½ lb. green beans, trimmed

½ lb. baby potatoes, halved or quartered

1 cucumber, sliced on the bias

2-3 fresh tuna steaks (or sub oil-packed tuna) Olive oil, divided

Salt and pepper to taste

Olives, capers, peperoncini, or other briny ingredients (for serving)

Salad greens (arugula, kale, spinach, etc.), optional


Step 1: Dressing Shake oil, lemon juice, mustard, honey, salt and pepper in a tight-lidded container like a mason jar; set aside.


Step 2: Vegetables Option 1: Boil green beans and potatoes in salted water until tender; serve warm or chilled. Option 2 (my preferred method): Steam green beans until tender. Roast potatoes, tossed in olive oil, for 30 minutes in a 400 degree oven. Serve warm or chilled.


Step 3: Tuna (if using fresh) Brush tuna steaks with olive oil; sprinkle with salt and pepper on all sides. Let sit on the counter while heating a large pan over medium-high heat until almost smoking. Add tuna steaks and sear, about 1-2 minutes per side for rare or about 110 degrees, adjusting cooking time for thickness (remember to sear the sides briefly as well).


Step 4: Assembly All of the salad ingredients can be arranged on a large platter on top of salad greens (if using). For feast-style: slice tuna steaks and arrange on a plate. Place salad greens in a bowl (if using). Use small bowls for the cucumbers, olives, capers, and other briny ingredients. Set out separate bowls or plates of potatoes, green beans, and eggs. Serve dressing from the jar or from another container.